Neil Pasricha: "The Author Of Awesome" (Introduction and Part 1: A Ten-Year-Old Ted Talk, Mother's Strength to Add Dots, and Job Quit For a Purpose)

"The hard way is the right way"

~ Cover of "You Are Awesome" by Neil Pasricha

        Last year, as school was inching closer to the Christmas break, one of my classmates decided to give everyone in Composition class a gift (it's a small school, the classes are small, you get the idea.). Specifically, he gifted me a copy of Neil Pasricha's latest book "You Are Awesome". Before having this book, I only knew about "The Book of Awesome" (which I may have skimmed through once in my life, I like skimming through books, it really gives you an idea), but I didn't know who it was by.
 
       As I started reading this book, I took a look at his websites, including the one that rocketed him to blogging stardom: 1000awesomethings.com (it's actually almost at 2000 by this point, which is why we should always go above and beyond with our goals). In the book itself, he discusses some studies and life stories that all have to do with RESILIENCE (which I believe is another word for PERSISTENCE)! But before I get into what this book covers, let's go back in time, ten years to be exact. Welcome to the first instalment of...

"You Are Awesome" by Neil Pasricha

"Neil Pasricha: The Author Of Awesome" 

(cue "Mr. D" theme [it's a Canadian show that ended a while back, but I dunno if they have re-runs]: I'm awesome, awesome, awesome...)

        Ah, 2010, a time of simple (or so I thought, I was just a child living in Kanata, hooked on Dora The Explorer, with no idea of how the world really was, politically). It was also the year that a young Neil did a Ted Talk in his hometown of Toronto called "The Three 'A's of Awesome". He has some backstory in this speech, but I'll just get straight to the Three A-words:

1. Attitude: In hard times you have two options, carry it as emotional baggage or choose to move forward. Having a positive attitude is about the latter option.

2. Awareness: Small children embrace everything they see like it's the first time. A good awareness is about unleashing your inner child, especially with the little joys of life.

3. Authenticity: A lot of great people just like to be themselves. The final 'A' of Authenticity is about being okay with being yourself, and following your heart, while fulfilling yourself through experience

        Since then, he has continued to add to his blog, published a few books, started a podcast where he interviews authors, attended many public speaking events, and became a father of three, but this kind of success doesn't happen overnight. "You Are Awesome" covers nine secrets on how to live your best life, embrace failure, and never give up. Part 1 of this series (this post) will cover secrets 1 & 2, Part 2 will look at secrets 3 & 4, Part 3 will dive deep into Secrets 5 & 6, and finally Part 4 will go beyond with Secrets 7, 8, & 9. Let's get cracking!

Secret 1: Add a Dot-Dot-Dot

        Throughout this section of the book, Neil tells the story of his mom, an East Indian born the youngest of eight in Kenya. Their culture, like many, made a bigger deal about boys than girls, as the girls would literally have to care for their husbands' families rather than their own. Before Neil's mom was born, her parents already had four daughters and three sons, and wanted another boy to balance it out. "It breaks my heart to think about my mom opening her newborn eyes, slowly soaking in the sea of faces in front of her, and what was the first thing she probably saw? Everyone's disappointment.", Neil says. As his mom grew up, she witnessed every one of her sisters getting married, but for herself, she chose to keep going. Even at thirteen, she got the highest mark in the National Exam, but then she had to go to a school filled with white kids. Her dad died a while after her graduation, and her mom really wanted her to get married. So they moved to London, which was where Neil's parents met. In the summer, Neil's dad visited London from Canada, and after one date, their marriage was arranged. One day, while they lived in Canada, Neil's parents went to a ballroom dancing club, but Neil's mom had never heard of it. She told herself, "I don't waltz...yet." Adding a dot-dot-dot (or in more technical terms, an ellipsis) and the word 'yet' can turn any negative phrase into a positive phrase. As Neil puts it, "It lets us hold both ideas. The idea that we can't. And! The idea that we can." 

Secret 2: Shift The Spotlight

        In this section, Neil recalls the experience of his first full-time job: an Assistant Brand Manager at Proctor & Gamble (P&G for short, you know, the company that makes cosmetics and such). After graduating university at 22 years old, he got the job, as the only full-time graduate that year hired that never worked at P&G as a summer intern. He was also the highest-paid marketing graduate of his year from the school, with a starting salary of $51 000. He even had a bunch of benefits, including free counselling and a couple thousand dollars to spend on massages. The downside? He sucked at the actual job, which was to make a ton of spreadsheets and graphs out of pricing data, in order to determine how much the products should be sold for. While doing his job, he would get anxious and beat himself up with negative thoughts. "I started working evenings and weekends.", he says, "I felt I was the problem. Clearly I wasn't working hard enough. This is the equivalent of thrashing your arms and legs to go faster in the pool." He goes on to say that he was blaming himself for everything. He thought it was all about him, bringing us to the "spotlight effect". It's defined as "the feeling that we'e being noticed, watched, observed, and, importantly, judged much more than we really are." In other words, we imagine that there's a spotlight shining on us for everyone to see. Neil quit, since he was agonizing about the possibility of getting fired; fortunately, him leaving P&G taught him how to deal with the failure of poor performance. "Shifting the spotlight" means being more aware of the fact that it's never all about us. "Set it beside you, not inside you.", he says. 

Next time on "Neil Pasricha: The Author Of Awesome": It's Part 2 of my series! Secrets 3 and 4 will be recapitulated, about seeing failures as opportunities and looking at things positively.